Bad Lover?

Hey, could someone tell me what the hell happened last week?
i thought i heard a lot of people talking about buying and giving chocolates, so was it "Chocolate Week"?
and especially on Thursday everyone seemed to be asking each other including me, "are you going to give chocolate to someone?"

"hunh?", i replied. "what for? why should i? is it necessary? stop asking me about it damn it!"

and what date was it again? February the 14th? damn everyone was quite annoying back then
what did everybody say that day is again?
vale....tina.........something?

ok, so i wasn't pretending to be an idiot *which you might think of me right know
I was just in denial of having a bad situation on the day that you called Valentine's Day
*see, i'm not that of an idiot, right?



You know, i think of myself as a lover. I have never fought in an actual combat with anyone up until this day *with the exception of my younger brother who already passed away 6 years ago though.

Truth is, i never liked to fight. The only occasion where i like to fight is in video games hehe.
I always believed that there are ways other than fighting to solve problems.

But i haven't been able to become a peace-maker. If i see a fight i would just make my way around it, avoiding to get involved if possible. I'm not saying that i'm a coward, but i just don't fancy fights.


Another way of seeing myself as a lover is, the fact that deep down inside me i love people.
I like the idea of meeting new friends, getting to know them more, and i like being loved.
But i feel that i'm not the sensitive kinda guy who is really aware of their surroundings. I have a high empathy but i don't think that i'm that aware of what others feel. I could only get into that "sensitive" feel if i've known the person for quite sometime whereas it wouldn't help with the "meeting new people and getting to know them" part .


Oh, and here comes of what i think the worst part of me being a lover. *sigh
I've had crushes on several people whom i met since i first started going to school.
I've even told this LONG HISTORY OF CRUSHES to someone on the phone! *whom currently i.....ARGGHHH!! let's talk about this in later in a different blog entry

FYI, i've had a relationship twice already which all mostly happened in my Junior High years *such unforgettable years those were! i'll cover this later in another blog entry as well

But the sad thing was after my second relationship ended, everytime i do my best to build a relationship it always ended with me being the sad one! It's always like the saying in Bahasa, "cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan". What made me sad the most is that this happened not only once! Because of it, at some point of time in the past i stopped looking for love. I wait for it to come by itself. Then something happened to me at the end of last year and at the beginning. I think i've ran into....... *damn! i'm not gonna spoil this thing in this blog entry! so if you're interested just keep up with me in this blog ok? hehe

So tell me, am i an unlucky one?
or am i just a bad lover?